In March 2008, the Toro Corporation released a lawnmower commercial named the “Pilot/Z.” In their nationwide thirty-second time slots, the world saw a fully-suited fighter pilot strap into a Z-model mower and turn high G-force maneuvers around lawn obstacles. At the end, the fighter pilot has to confess to a young boy who exclaims “Wow, that must be the coolest job in the world!” that he’s only a fighter pilot, and somebody else is really the lawn pro. Little did the Toro Corporation know that there really was a fighter pilot with callsign “Toro.”
Fighter pilot callsigns are a tradition in the military, and there are multiple explanations for their need—it depends on whom you ask. Some argue that they are used to help ease remembering all the funny new guys (FNGs)—true; before the internet driven world, others held that they were used to hide family names from the enemy—not so with the advent of search engines; other arguments are for a need of flying callsigns that meet Federal Aviation Administration guidelines—not many actually meet or are approved.
In reality, the true reason for assignment of callsigns to fighter pilots is for continuing tradition and building camaraderie. Fighter pilot namings are events that the namee will always remember—each squadron has their own sequence of events, guidelines, and requirements. Furthermore, receiving a name is not just a one time occurrence, unless the person has been a previous member of the squadron, they have employed in combat, or they’ve been in multiple commands and are officially an “Old Guy.” Still though, the requirement for any FNG in any squadron remains the same: present bribes (pizza, popcorn makers, beverages, refrigerators, sports magazine subscriptions), and recite from memory a significant historical event for the squadron.
It is the job of the squadron named fighter pilots to figure out possible names before the event, although the final pick will often be determined by the crowd with a “human sound meter.” Names must pass the “Red Flag” test, or that they must not be lame, embarrassing, or offensive should the namee walk into the United States Air Force Top Gun equivalent Officer Club and face General Officers, their wives, wing or squadron leadership, or their peers. These names can be acronyms, names that mix with last names, or names that fit with stories from flight or on the ground. A few of the many examples that can be found online are TBAR (That Boy Ain’t Right), NOSA (No Situational Awareness), T-bone (dropped a practice bomb through a cow), Bevo (Nammed after the University of Texas mascot out of malice, since he went to Texas A&M), Long (last name Stockins), and Toro.
The last one brings us back to the add campaign by the Toro Corporation. While there are named “El Toro” and “Torro” as fighter pilots, there is only one “Toro” that we know of at the time of this writing. He’s an F-16 pilot, and he received his name after an early morning intimidation of the “Z” commercial. In July, 2002, this Toro lived in Clovis, New Mexico with two other bachelor roommates. Their house was on the outskirts of the around 30,000 resident military town—a town that has a rich history of flying: F-111’s, F-16’s, and now AC-130’s and Unmanned Aerial Vehicles. Despite the towns affinity for military households, the homeowners’ covenant of the three pilots neighborhood cut no slack for unkempt lawns.
With higher than average Summer rainfall, the busy bachelors were pressed for daylight hours at home when the lawn could be mowed. However, the one soon-to-be named Toro in the house ensured that the lawn was mowed and kept to standards to avoid eviction. After mowing the lawn three times in a row over the summer months, and after asking his roommates to carry their weight around the house, his lawn mowing “fun meter” was pegged—not in the “fun” direction. Both other roommates, Bevo and Eat’n refused to mow the lawn; after all, they did not have a Toro “Z” mower! Early one Saturday morning, to-be Toro took things into his own hands.
It was still dark, and both roommates were asleep. Nothing would be better than the sound of a lawnmower near their windows as a wake-up call! The half-acre backyard grass was about mid-calf level, and the front yard was even worse. Multiple notices sat in the overflowing trashcan about the lawn’s condition, right next to the piles of dirty dishes. After priming the mower, it fired right up; the Toro went direct for the first close pass—roommate number one; unnoticed with the pitch black conditions was the cord to the electric grill. Pass number two after a quick touch and go was for roommate number two; unnoticed was the buried in the weeds hose. This flight was a quick one, as lights came on only about 3.6 minutes into the mission, and luckily an unrelated siren was heard in the background! After a bit heated discussion, the point was made, and the next day, one of the roommates would mow the lawn!
Prior to the clean-up mowing job, it was clear the a better mower was needed if night mowing were to be a standard: the hose was destroyed, the electrical cord cut, and the grass chunks were everywhere. Perhaps there could have been a better approach to solving the situation, but clearly the same effect might not have been achieved. Plus, the FNG had set himself up for his naming just weeks away.
Three weeks later, it was nameage time. With the Toro-to-be’s last name of German decent, there was no easy two-name jingle; three weren’t any remarkable in-flight stories that would mold a T-BAR or NOSA. That left the the two already named pilots the early morning mower story. While the crowd debated other mower brands like Snapper, Craftsman, and Honda, only one really stuck and sounded like it’d pass the Red Flag test: Toro; after all, Toro was the Spanish word for bull.
The afterburner sound of fighter plane “freedom” sometimes wakes up people during early morning takeoffs, but this Toro has more than one early morning wake up call. Maj “Toro” Hauck flies the F-16, and lives in South Korea with his family and has kept the name since the initial ceremony. He has yet to fly a Toro “Time Cutter Z,” but is impressed by its performance in the commercial.